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Earlier this week, my husband and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. So, this week I have been reflecting back on us and our marriage. My thoughts about our anniversary have been a little different than in the past years. I am not necessarily thinking about how fast the time is going or the hard times we have made it through to get here. This year my thoughts drift to how much we have changed in the last 5 years.
We got married very young by today’s standards, and although I wouldn’t have it any other way, There are some unique challenges young married couples face. Unfortunately a lot don’t make it. I am sad to say out of the young couples we have known none are still married.
Why is it so hard on a marriage to start out young? Well, let me start off by saying in this day and time it isn’t easy staying married period, no matter what the age. But, you have something extra working against you when you take the leap at 20. You are going to change a lot in the next few years. You will grow to be different people than what you were, it’s only natural. If you still had the same views that you had at 20, you would be in trouble.
Have we changed? OH, YES! Did you know that my husband was in a hardcore band when I met him? A far cry from the responsible dad who is into raising chickens and gardening, huh? Now if we are up at 2am it is because our Little Mister is sick, not because we just went to a show and are eating at Waffle House. Five years later he is a little tighter with money, and my clothes are just tight.
So, how do you make it? First, of all I am no expert, but in my opinion you have to be willing to grow together, and stop living in the past. Yes, we are a lot different now, and if he reminds me we are saving for a house one more time I might scream! All things considered though, he still is the same wonderful person that I married. We just have different hobbies and habits now. I’m sure in 10 years I will tell you how we have changed even more, but how we were in the past doesn’t really matter as much as being committed to the future.
Cassie @ Southeast by Midwest
A. your dress is gorgeous.
B. happy anniversary 🙂
C. you are so right about the growing up. Neither Travis nor I are the same people that we were in we first met. I was 18, super independent, and VERY VERY liberal. He was about to be 20, a loner, and VERY VERY VERY VERY conservative. Now I’m… less independent (as a matter-of-fact I love it when he opens doors for me and orders my food for me, my 18 year-old-self would be screaming in frustration at me), and now I’m very very conservative. He is still a bit of a loner but for different reasons and now he’s so liberal I think his mom has thought about disowning him a time or two LOL.
If neither of changed or had some effect on the other (whether good or bad) I would be worried that you never associated with each other 😛
brenna
Thank you and thank you. You are very right about rubbing off on each other. A lot if our interest now are a result if each other.
Rachel
So true Brenna! Being married is a work in progress for most everyone I think especially for the first 5 years and sometimes longer! The great relationship you get after you get past most of those firsts is so worth it! Learning to live with someone else and their habits and hobbies is pretty tough especially when you are still figuring out yourself and what you think of things. But when all is said and done if both of you want it to work it will. Just Don’t forget to communicate!
brenna
You are so right, Rachel! Learning to live with someone is the hardest part.
elizabeth
happy anniversary! congrats you two 🙂
brenna
Thanks, Elizabeth.
Lexie Lane
I’m a bit late but Happy Anniversary! You looked so beautiful in your wedding dress!
brenna
Thank you so much, Lexie.
Brenda
I agree about your dress. It is lovely; classic and breathtaking.
Congratulations on the 5 year anniversary. In today’s disposable world, that is a victory. You two will make that 50 mark! You have your heads and hearts focused.
brenna
Thank you so much, Brenda. I pray you are right. You are always such a wonderful source of encouragement.
Jessica @ Jessie Kay Graphics and Design
I love that you said “growing together”. People need to understand that people grow. As long as you are growing in the same direction, I think that’s all that matters. Happy late anniversary! Beautiful dress!
brenna
Thank you so much, Jessica. You are so right about growing in the same direction.
Mariely
You looked gorgeous! I love your wedding dress. I will always remember that last part when you said “being committed to the future”. Such a beautiful post 🙂 Happy Anniversary to you and Derrick!!
brenna
Thanks, Mariely. That last sentence was the most important to me. It is why I wrote the article and what I really hoped people would get from it.
Kelli Panique
Hi Brenna!
I found you on Kreative Creationz Blogger Appreciation Month. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is so nice to see someone willing to work on their marriage. It is work and you have to make the effort to work on everyday. Congrats to you and your husband and here’s to many more Happy Anniversaries!
brenna
Thanks for stopping by and thank you so much for your kind words, Kelli.
Cathy Shaw
I’ve been married for 34 (!) years. Marriages go through various stages; if you keep allowing for growth and change and always treat each other tenderly and with mutual admiration and respect, all will go well. It will be a life-long adventure!
brenna
Such good advice. Thank you for taking the time to comment!
Sarah S.
Happy Anniversary! I hope you guys had a good.